August 10th, 2010
JEFBOT.264_iTouched
Today’s strip should make it clear why I have to keep my iPad out of sight when I leave my apartment: I don’t trust my roommate (and inspiration for the Cornfather), Michael Cornacchia. I really have no idea what he’d do with it if he found it. Innocent things, probably. All I know is that when he messes with my gadgets, things go wrong. I don’t know how many times he’s called me to figure out problems with his computer, or getting the DVD player, speaker system or universal remote to work. He’s kind of an electronics jinx. And that scares me more than him taking my iPad for a walk on the wild side. And if he does that, I really don’t want to know about it anyway.
Because of its incompatibility with Flash, does this mean we can’t read DC comics on it?
luckily, as with most things, there’s an app for DC comics, Tommy G! pretty cool one, too. Marvel has one also, but i mostly use the Comixology app for getting comics to my iPad, since it provides comics from most of the big publishers (Marvel, DC, Dark Horse, Image, etc.) i still like reading “real” comics, but comics on the iPad are extremely convenient, and so far, i’m using it for the free comics and to fill in holes in my collection.
and since you’re the first comment poster, you get the cool spectacles:
why do picture jefbot’s ipad in the shower scene from the first ace ventura or “silkwood”
that scene pops up in conversations between me and my buddies all the time t_d, and would be totally appropriate as a sixth panel in today’s strip! i’m sure it’ll pop up in a JEFbot comic someday.
The horror, THE HORROR!!!! HAHAHA…Has Jefbot’s iPad been stepping out on him, doing inappropriate things with Cornfather? EEEEW, she’s a whore!
one can hope that the Cornfather is just pulling jefbot’s leg, ESQ, knowing that he’d freak out about it. ONE CAN HOPE!
im terribly confused. wtfh just happened??!!!!?? i sense an arc in this one. this arc is strong.
even jefbot may never know what really happened, jf#300! and only 1-2 strips left in this arc!
Bulging eyes. You drew bulging eyes. Thats almost as much of a cliche as *Curses!* in movies. I love it.
PS: I got a feeling my spelling is wrong.
since i worship at the altar of Ren and Stimpy, i love bulging eyes too, Maryz! i wouldn’t say they’re cliché though, just part of the language of comics. like drawing ZZZs for sleep or an upside down “u” as a mouth for sadness.
ps: “curses” is an awesome profanity.
the ipads innocence is gone in the prime of its life! oh well at least you can get your fix reading ibooks guilt free now.
jefbot can definitely read guilt-free now, AFTER he coats that iPad in some Windex, Drakeye!
Turning one roommate against another….Dirty iPad SLUT!
I can see Jef now, stroking the iPad, rocking back and forth. “it’s not your fault, you can talk about it when you’re ready. It’s ok I still love you.”
Is it me or does it seem like when other people touch your stuff it gets all wonky? My computer can be working just fine, the minute my husband says “Let me see if I can adjust yadda yadda yadda” I have an expensive paperweight! He is no longer allowed to touch my stuff. PERIOD.
*note to self* when Howl O Scream starts…buy netbook. *mutters curses*
hmm I don’t believe you can hold an iPad in the shower…but imagine the visual of Jefbot, fully clothed, in the shower with his iPad, saying he’s going to make it all clean again…and it wasn’t it’s fault…hehehehe
there must be a waterproof iPad case, ESQ! wouldn’t be helpful in getting rid of the “ick” but would help bring this visual to fruition.
Passwords and a Dvorak keyboard layout prevent 99% of people from trying to use my computer. Always best to plan your countermeasures ahead of time.
Oooh… i’ve always been intrigued with the Dvorak layout, Tanya, but am too ingrained with QWERTY to reprogram myself at this point. would be a cool thing to learn, though.
Once you learn Dvorak, you can never go back to the finger tangle that is qwerty. But my GODS man, the speed increase is amazing.
love the imagery there, Pixie. heheh. i think jefbot might be the one needing holding and rocking at this point, though.
YES! just the other day, my roommate was messing with my entertainment center when i wasn’t around and now my settings are all messed up. i think i’m about to adopt your “no touchy” rule to ALL my gadgets.
Hilarious! Thanks for the iPad education for all we potential shoppers!
if you’re even thinking about getting one just take the plunge, Stan! you’ll love it!
Not yet. I never buy anything until it’s obsolete.
Ew! XD
I’m a jinx with Earbuds and headphones, but electronics are fine around me.
…Except for my old keyboard. That thing had crumbs and dust in it before it was handed down to me. Eyagh!
It has been officially retired, and now I got me a new one!
Oh, but my mom’s terrible with trying to fix viruses. She managed to ruin my comp last time. Since then I only trust my brother, who managed to fix the problem after half a year of my comp being controlled by some random hacker…
yeah, i’m pretty lucky around electronics too, Rinthia. although i did have to turn my original Playstation upside down so it wouldn’t overheat, and i’ve gone through 3 (4?) XBOX 360s that have red-ringed. and while my keyboards at home are pretty clean, my work keyboards are filthy: full of crumbs, dust and coffee stains. blegh.
and what sites does your mom visit that she’s getting all those viruses!? or maybe i shouldn’t ask…
No, a hacker just attacked my computer randomly. No one else used it, but me. And I don’t visit questional sites like CF…
My mom tried to fix the comp after the virus attacked, but she just deleted a lot of things that made my comp function
SO happy i haven’t had to clean off viruses from my mom’s computer, yet. she doesn’t do a whole lotta surfing so seems to stay out of trouble, for the most part.
and after my site got hacked several months back, i’m SO OVER hackers!!! urgh.
Also! I finished a drawing of Winnie the book dealer’s trial yesterday, but I need a camera… >:}
no way! you serious? i must see!
I’m not sure if you’ve deliberately avoided this feature due to the numerous small story arcs, but, in my opinion, a “Random” button for going through comics would be a great bonus to have for the comic.
thanks for the request, Ste! i haven’t thought about it much because i’ve only received one or two requests for this feature. will definitely look into it though, and if i can implement it easily, i’ll add a “random button” to the site!
Oh man, Porn, thats like licking an ice cream through a glass. Just no point
hmmm… i might just be getting some ice cream and a pane of glass the next time i’m feeling lonely, Eddie.
Lacey is exactly the same way. The scary thing is that she’s the go to tech person in her office… and at my house she as destructive to electronics as Harry Dresden.
Semi-obscure nerd Wizard reference. eff tee dubbleyew.
heh. Lacey must deplete all her good tech mojo at work which turns into anti-tech mojo at home. keep your 360 away from her, dude. those things are delicate.
and i got the nerd wizard reference, but am only familiar with Dresden from the tv series and not the novels, so i only get a +.5 to my nerd cred.
OMG FUNNY!!!!!!!!!
glad you liked it, Eptha!
Totally priceless dude…totally priceless
Great emotional arc!! Love it!!!
heh. i’m happy you enjoyed jefbot’s range of emotions, JP.
Good thing it’s an Apple product- The Cornfather would have that thing infested with viruses if it were a PC! I love your reaction shots Jefbot! Hilarious as ALWAYS!
you know the Cornfather too well, Funnyshaffer.
OMG BRAIN BLEACH.
DID NOT NEED THAT
sorry, DJ. here are some brillo pads to really get that bleach into the deep crevices.
AHHHHHH MIND FUCK(forgive the language).
AHHHH! THE IMAGE IS IN MY CORNEAS!
IT BURNS!
GOUGE OUT MY EYES AND THE MEMORY!
Any way, funny comic JB.
heheh. glad you liked the strip, even if it was a bit traumatizing, Zachlight!
Actually; one of the nice things about the Flash incompatibility is that since most ads are in Flash, they don’t show up on a lot of the websites that I frequent.
very true – i’d rather see that little blue lego piece denoting the lack of flash than an ad most of the time, reynard61.
He’s soiled yer iPad with smut! bahahaha! I can just imagine the next strip is jeffbot cradling the little ipad in the shower saying It’ll be okay-no wait that would break it-no wait do it. >_>
But i love all the jeffbot reactions, especially the last panel. I -just- might have to do something with that….
i love how a bunch of you readers think alike, Steve – so many of you think jefbot and his iPad need a cleansing shower! and actually, if the Cornfather did really use that iPad for smut, maybe bot should take that shower, even if it wrecks his new gadget.
glad you like those reactions – now i’m intrigued as to what you would do with that last panel…???
Ewwwww….. Sticky iPad….
ew ew ew ew ew, Shay! if there’s any “stickiness” on that iPad it’s going back to the Apple Store.
I’ll dig the whole for you but YOU have to shoot him. Got it, I thought we were burying trash or somthing. lol
on a different note. You haven’t finished A.C II OR FABLE II !!?? I beat them both in two days. DUDE! I know you’re a better gamer than that.
yes, sadly the demands of a full time job, acting and this webcomic take up most of the time that i’d be gaming, Animie fan. the only things i’ve been playing lately are a little Mario Galaxy 2 and Pokemon Soul Silver. those are easy to play in little spurts. ALTHOUGH: i’m hoping to be able to clear a weekend in the next month or so and just GAME for 48 hours straight! then maybe i can finish Mass Effect 2 and make a dent in Dragon Age or Red Dead Redemption.
shoot him with what? all i have is this Nintendo Zapper, Animie fan!
-sigh- this is the problem with city people. so little appreciation for fire arms. tell ya what, i’ll loan you a friends 357. Python and we’ll just run with it. You don’t desecrate a guys device, it’s not right.
And Violence against the Cornfather in 3… 2…
maybe jefbot’ll hit the Cornfather in the head with that soiled iPad, Tanya! nahhhh.
*Snrk* OMG… Double ne TRIPLE entendre! Purr!
Oh my goodness, Mr. Schueteze; this is fricking hilarious!!! XD LOL I had missed the last 4 weeks-worth of the strip and, as always, you certainly did not disappoint. Also, I know this is late, but congratulations on making it into the next round of the TGT Tournament (I will certainly vote!). I do not think I will ever jump on the iPad bandwagon, but truly I wish you all the luck with yours.
Haha Have a great week and thanks again for the laugh! 
glad to see you’re back and all caught up, Ebony! and i’m happy you liked the past few iPad-centric strips, even if you don’t intend to get one. (but i can tell you – i LOVELOVELOVE mine!)
also, thanks for the congrats! i’m not going to campaign as hard to get through this next round only because the tournament is going on for a month, and i think that’s a long time to ask people to keep voting! so i thank you and everybody else who’s been keeping me alive in this round, even without my rallying. maybe if i get to the 3rd or 4th round, i’ll have to spur on the JEFbot legion!
you have a great week too, and thanks for laughing!
I bet Jefbot’s glad he put that screen protector on now…
HA! that’s a HUGE (and funny!) understatement, Angela della Muerta! i’m sure jefbot feels he dodged a bullet there! heheheh. i thought about having the next strip showing jefbot peeling off the screen protector and disinfecting the iPad, but i think we can assume he’s going to do that, even if we don’t see it. (especially since Mombot will be handling the iPad in the next strip – hint, hint.)
*chuckles* I’d be the same. Although, I’d probably have gone a tad “Lady Macbeth” in that situation – with the iPad AND my hands.
*chuckles*
BTW, you’re a little tease, giving me hints like that… I kinda like it
that’s not gonna go down well…
i think jefbot’s just going to pretend this little episode never happened, Leithal. the less said about it, the better.
Mmmm. Murphyonic field. Murphy’s Law. Maybe it’s attached to him.
i used to see signs about Murphy’s Law all over my dad’s classroom when he’d take me to work with him when i was a kid, Jaeh, and i think they must’ve had some profound effect on me, even if only on a subconscious level. i’ve thought about addressing that in a strip but haven’t found the right angle, yet. dang Murphyonic field!
You’ll figure it out, I’m sure. xD I’ll wait for that.
…er, it just dawned on me. Cornfather’s just messing, right? RIGHT?!
(and I love jefbot’s expression in the last panel. the eeeeeyyeees.)
…I can’t think of anything to comment that wouldn’t need an age gate.
ha! and i thank you for that, NeoDarklight.
Omg. the smell! how will u get rid of the smell!!!!!!!
oh gods, let’s not even begin to think about that jf#300! let’s just pretend that the Cornfather was just messing with jefbot and it didn’t really happen!
O_O
*blinks*
*falls on floor laughing so hard*
Bwuahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!
Oh god! jef’s face on the last panel… ROFL! Precious!
Yes, jef, protect the poor ex-innocent iPad from the devious Michael. oh, wait. too late now, dude. Your iPad will never be the same. Better lock it somewhere so that it won’t try to crawl back into the low life that Michael introduced it into. Poor iPad. Completely robbed of its innocence and now its nothing more than a iWhore.
*diabolical laugh of doom*
Sorry to burst your innocent bubble, jefbot, but all Apple products are who-rish. I mean, c’mon! Who in their right mind would use Eve’s bited apple for its logo, huh? Only a company that regoice in the weaked will of human kind, that’s who!
Bwuahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!
WOW! this strip got TWO evil laughs of doom and ONE diabolical laugh out of you, Sonitan! although i’m mortified at you reveling in the Cornfather’s defiling of jefbot’s iPad (not proven he wasn’t lying to jefbot, mind you!), i do have to chuckle at the pleasure you’re getting out of it. heheheh.
and i can’t fault your logic about Apple’s logo, although it kind of depends on if you consider the apple as representing humankind’s weak will or its insatiable quest for knowledge. i tend to think of it as representing the latter. BWUAhahahahahahahaha!
I’m still laughing at that face. The one in the last panel. I can’t stop laughing at it, such an awesome job.
Just pray that it doesn’t get any viruses. Then again, it’s not like it’s made by Microsoft…
This strip is really funny. But it brought to mind mental images I could just as well have done without!
Cornfather will NEVER be allowed to touch the ipad again.
Ha! Very funny, bot!!! I love it. But of course this portion is the “semi” in the description, “semiautobiographical webcomic of writer/artist Jeff Schuetze.” Cause you know as well as I that I would NEVER admit to going to porn sites on your iPad.
CCLLLEEAAANNNNNN YOUR SCREENNNN!!!
Oh, no! Jefbot’s iPad’s been tainted.