May 14th, 2010
JEFBOT.239_Lactose Intolerant
I love cereal and eat it all the time – it really doesn’t matter if it’s morning, noon or night. In fact, over the past few years, I’ve probably eaten more cereal for dinner than for breakfast. As much as I like cereal however, I can’t stand it when it gets soggy. Many a cereal bowl has had its contents tossed into the trash or garbage disposal when I’ve accidentally left the cereal stewing in the milk for too long.
And don’t get me started on people who drink the milk out of the bowl when there’s nothing else left. Just the thought gives me dry heaves.
Well… you could always go for Grape Nuts… which never gets soggy, and even if it did, you wouldn’t care anymore, you just want to finish… the… damned… bowl… of cereal…
Grapenuts do get soggy, and quite slimy (so to speak) when they do get super soggy. It’s all kinds of gross.
Well, sure they do. But it takes a geologic age to happen.
ROFL, so begins the age of animus fanacious! lololololol
sadly, it sometimes takes me a “geologic age” to eat cereals like grape nuts and bran buds, Taellosse! i think their density’s a factor.
bran buds get slimy too, Spanky. and then they kind of fall apart in the milk, which turns into a kind of cereal cement.
haven’t had grape nuts in awhile, aretoo, but i remember them taking forever for me to eat, so they did get a bit soggy. i eat bran buds on occasion and they require a similar extended chewing factor, so i generally mix ‘em with some sort of flakes (like raisin bran) just to get them down more easily.
lolz, i don’t even eat breakfast. and over sugared coffee starts my day… which tends to suck.
i’m an over-sugarer (and over-creamerer, for that matter) with my coffee too, Animie fan. usually this results in me being amped for the first couple hours of the morning, than me crashing out by lunchtime.
Staight black makes me jitter and twitch, black with three… ok five spoonfuls of sugar regulates it.
Heh, I eat quite a lot of cereal too… but I do not use milk. Ever. Sometimes I will use yoghurt, but more often than not I just eat dry cereal. Still, it never gets soggy
awesome! wish i could eat cereal dry, Maia, but i need at least a little milk. unless it’s granola. granola i can eat dry all day.
ah, it’s granola I usually need to use yoghurt with. Oh well…
mmm… yogurt and granola’s pretty awesome!
What’s wrong with drinking the sweetened milk that remains D:
Totally agree about the soggy, though.
‘cuz usually the milk that remains has little floaty bits of soggy cereal, MM! yick! and i usually eat cereals like raisin bran or flax granola, which don’t really sweeten up the after-milk like, say, Trix or Frosted Flakes do.
I actually LIKE soggy cereal, and drink the milk when nothing’s left.
aaaAGGHHH! just suppressed a little vomit, nninja555.
You’re gross. I have a sneaky suspicion that there’s a lot of people out there just like you, doing your gross things.;) Enjoy.
this is why i drink beer in the morning.(beer..not just for lunch anymore!)
and speaking of cereal..i got a theory on lucky charms…at some point,it’ll be one big marshmallow shaped like the box with a little bag of cereal as the prize.
i’m telling you,it’s coming.
Beer is the breakfast of champions!
amen!
Word.
Oooo! I can’t wait for the One Giant Marshmallow Lucky Charms! That’s my favorite cereal, and it’s all about the marshmallows.
hmmm… maybe i’ll try beer in my cereal sometime, t_d – actually, no, that would probably burst my stomach since i’d have to down it fast to keep the cereal from getting soggy.
and seeing all the “candy” type cereals lining the aisles at the supermarket, i think you’re right on with your theory. would they then start calling it “Lucky Charm”?
While I dont particulary like sogy cereal, I dont mind it either and Im one of those people who drink the milk.
By the way, do you realy eat it under thirty seconds?
no, i can’t get it down as fast as jefbot does here, Maryz, but i do try and chomp it all up within a few minutes. sometimes i’ll just put a small amount of cereal in a bowl, eat it, then repeat, so no amount of cereal is sitting in the bowl long enough to get soggy.
I hate soggy cereal -.-
Great comic btw
thanks, Chris! yeah, soggy sucks.
I actually like my cereal to be inbetween. I don’t like it soggy, and I don’t like it super crunchy. I finish the milk in the bowl, however my son on the otherhand won’t touch the milk after eating cereal. I sometimes switch from just regular milk, right over to vanilla soy milk.. good stuff! I want to try out almond milk sometime on my cereal, it sounds like it would be awesome.
That 3rd panel of OM NOM NOM NOM NOMness, had me laughing out loud. (You cereal killer, you.
) Too cute.
when i was a kid, a lot of my friends would down the milk, Spanky, but i never could, so i salute your son!
i’ve tried regular and vanilla soy milk, and while i don’t like it as much as my regular, 2% milk, it’ll do in a pinch. almond milk’s pretty good, too – better than the soy, imho.
glad you liked the NOMS!
What’s breakfast, again?
i hear ya, Shion – i rarely have a chance to eat breakfast except on weekends, and i’m much more likely to eat cereal at night than morning.
HAHAHAHAHA! Jeff Omnomnom-ed! AWESOME!
*tosses a caption up* “I can haz crunchy cereals?”
Awww Jeff would be an adorable Lolcat
I for one love cereal. Soggy is awesome cause I have sensitive teeth. And sweetened milk?! MMMmmmmmmm!
woo! just typing OMNOMNOM is making me hungry, Pixie! and i might just have to draw bot in some cat ears so you can come up with some lolcat captions for him.
sweetened milk’s definitely yum, as long as there are no soggy food particles floating in it.
Haha! So true! Soggy cereal for the lose!!
yep. soggy cereal = FAIL, most def, TCG.
Nice Casio. Circa 1980?
ha! i knew someone would notice the Casio, Skeptible! i had one just like this when i was a kid and have had a soft spot for ‘em ever since.
So true…so TRUE!!! With all of our technology, you’d think someone would invent non-soggy cereal. (Other than Captain Crunch that just cuts up the roof of your mouth)
someone will invent non-soggy cereal, JP, but then in a few years they’ll find it causes cancer. unfortunately, i think a cereal’s soggy time limit is just how nature intended it.
I like soggy cereal most of the time. but it really depends on the cereal.
trying to think if there’s any cereal that i think is “okay” soggy…
…
…
…
nope. can’t think of one, DJ.
Cocoa Pebbles
When I run out of milk I use juice on my cereal; that would bypass the chunky warm milk problem. Apple juice and cheerios is my favorite combination.
hmmm… i think juice in my cereal would create a whole new set of anxieties, Erica. still, it might be worth a try…
I will not eat Frosted Flakes or Corn Flakes for this very reason. It is impossible to eat them without ending up with a limp pile of mush. *shudder*
Lucky Charms are perfect because they stay crunchy for long enough to eat them at a leisurely pace, and they have all that marshmallowy goodness. And they make awesome after-cereal milk. Mmmmm. I totally want a bowl now!
Great strip. Eating cereal that fast with the inability to burp sounds to me like a recipe for disaster though!
i was just eating some sort of cereal – it had macadamia nuts and cranberries in it – where the flakes went instantly mushy, Shanna. needless to say, i shan’t be buying it again.
i had a bowl of Lucky Charms about a year ago at a hotel i was staying at, and enjoyed it. those marshmallows are pretty good! i did NOT drink the milk, however.
and yes, eating that quickly is pretty dangerous, but i make sure to not swallow a lot of air with the food. it only seems to be fizzy drinks (beer/soda) that affect me much.
That is outstanding! I LOATHE soggy cereal… Unless it’s Rice Checks…
Frame three is AMAZING! Brilliant works as usual Jefbot!
thanks, man!
My boyfriend hates soggy cereal so much that he actually prefers to eat it dry, right out of the box. It’s very weird.
i can relate to your bf, Sharra – i’d rather eat it just plain dry than soggy.
JB you have lost your friggin mind. Well partially. I agree with you to the point that soggy cereal is bad, but at the same time it cant be over crunchy either. Especially cereal like Captain Crunch that is like razor blades in your mouth if you eat it too soon. My biggest disagreement though, despite the fact you said to not get you started, how can you not finish the bowl?!?! Don’t be so wasteful JB! You just had all these strips on Earthday and such then you go around wasting all this food and milk that children in Africa would LOVE to have! Pull yourself together bro!
Oh…sorry. Strip was awesomely made though
. Love the second panel…the look of determination and all the Nom Noms cracked me up!
Sorry, 3rd panel…
thanks, dude! OMNOMNOMNOM!
have to agree with slave here jb…wasting is not a good habit…everytime i need to finish a meal i think of a malnourished african kid…
i usually serve myself small portions anyway, JF#300, so even when i throw food away (which isn’t often), i don’t waste very much. even the leftover milk in my bowl is very minimal, since i don’t pour much to begin with.
over-crunchy > soggy mush!
and i used to feel as you do about wastefulness, Slave1, and i do try not to serve more than i can eat, but as i get older and it gets harder to maintain my scrawn powers, i consider any food i leave on my plate or bowl, food that i won’t need to work off later. if i actually thought that children in Africa would benefit from me not finishing all my fries or bran flakes, i’d eat ‘em, soggy or otherwise, but as it is, i’d rather not clean my plate for no reason other than to gorge myself.
lolz….btw i finish everything on my plate or bowl and/ or on the table…..have to agree…hate soggy cereal…
when i do throw food away, i do think of malnourished kids in Africa or China, JF#300. dang parents musta pounded that into my head when i was a kid!
Lucky Charms!!!!
you and Shanna should get together, Xin!
Awsome, love it
thanks, Eddie!
Way to start the day for a puertorrican vitorian goth:
1) glare at the sun through the semi closed windows
2) prepare and drink 20 ounces of cold coffee
(Coffee is a MUST have in Puerto Rico. It’s kind of blasphemy if you don’t drink coffee over here!!)
3) run out with a huge parasol and the strongest sunblock I can get my hands on
*evil laugh of doom*
the only cereal I enjoy (the few times I eat it, it’s the kellogs Corn Flakes… and yes, I tend to eat it pretty fast, but I don’t mind some sogginess. If it’s TOO soggy, then yes, I agree that it looks kinda gross.
*toasts Sonitan with her large travel mug full of Cafe Bustello* I’m with you. Visitas consist of cafe y pan. (Visitations; Coffee and bread for the non Latins)
I find I’ve been eating cereal more and more often for dinner than breakfast.
1) do you hiss at the sun too, Sonitan?
2) i wouldn’t do well in puerto rico it seems, since i’m *trying* to wean myself from coffee. it sometimes makes me jittery and does weird things to my bowels. ’nuff said.
3) if JEFbot were my day job i don’t think i’d leave my apartment at all! i’d probably be glaring at the sun through semi-closed windows right there with you.
yeah, Corn Flakes get soggy *fast*. i’d probably have to set that timer to 20 secs.
Ha! This is totally my wife.
do you drink her used milk, Stan?
Gah, no. Why? Who drinks yours?
Dude I hate soggy cereal tooo!!!!
no way around it, Eptha: it’s gross.
Milk is good for you, you should drink it.
i hear it does a body good – when it’s not contaminated with soggy food particles!
My husband is EXACTLY the same about his cereal and other foods. He puts just a small bit at the very bottom of the bowl and as soon as it’s soggy, he’s done.
We can be eating a meal that is $100 a plate, but if anything on the plate gets soggy (ie. soaking up juices of a neighboring food), then he just pushes it away. …. he’s done
yep – keeping the milk to a minimum is key, MD, so i get where your husband is coming from.
and although i’ve gotten better about it, i try and keep the food on my plate separate, too. juices should not mix!
Ha! FANTASTIC, bot. So simple yet so good and so true! I love the noise you make when you’re eating and your face as you scarf down the cereal! Congratulations again. This strip is sure to make cereal eating an Olympic Sport!
i would surely not get the gold in that event, MC – i eat way more slowly than bot, here.
I wonder what it would taste like if I poured strawberry milk into a bowl of Cocoa Krispies?
hmmm… i’m intrigued. if you do it, let us know how it goes, NeoDarklight.
What I REALLY hate is when you pour milk that soured before the expiration date in your cereal and you didn’t realize it until you take a bite. Happened to me more than once.
i’m totally obsessed with checking expiration dates, ND, and fear of something like that happening is exactly WHY!
I just went through the whole webcomic… apart from being hilarious and one of the best I’ve seen so far, i really like your drawing style. Keep it up!
i totally appreciate that, Date0 (the reading through the archives and the compliment!). it’s been fun for me to see how my art style has changed over time, so i’m happy you’re liking it!
I actually like certain cereals to get soggy. Like Boo Berry, Crunch Berries, Cinnamon Toast Crunch, Fruity Pebbles, and I always drink the delicious milk afterwards. But that mainly comes from being allowed to have a bowl a cereal a week, if I was good, and being struck if I wasted the milk by pouring it out. But, it’s actually awesome. =) Though, each to their own.
i haven’t had any of those “sweet” cereals in a long time, T_M, but after all this talk about cereal, i think i’m gonna hafta go buy some Crunch Berries soon (i haven’t seen it at my local supermarket, lately. i assume they still make it, right?) a bowl a week of that stuff sounds like a good plan, at least for my teeth.
Mombot used to love Cinnamon Toast Crunch, but i don’t think she’s had any in quite some time.
I have developed my own ridiculously complicated solution to the soggy-cereal problem, personally.
I get a cup (never a bowl, cups work better) of milk, and the box of cereal. Get a spoonful of cereal, dip it in the milk briefly and then eat it. Works great, no soggy time. 
I do it a lot with Frosted Flakes, partly because they get soggy so fast, and partly because the milk melts the sugar right off!! That always drives me nuts. If I wanted cornflakes without any sugar I would have bought some Corn Flakes.
This comic amused me enough that I showed it to my best friend, who has never read jefbot before. And it was funny enough that she has been converted! She’s going to read through the archive as soon as she finishes with Questionable Content (also something that I showed her).
(Also — whee, first time commenting!)
So you just throw the milk away after you eat your cereal? Wasteful. Pretty typical in society today though.
Eyah. I can’t drink the leftover milk out of the bowl. I’d rather have more cereal to finish the milk…
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Me too! I LOVE milk and have a pretty strong stomach but the thought of drinking the milk out of the bowl makes me feel a little ill too! And I hate soggy cereal as well. My family thinks I’m really weird but to solve my problems, I take a spoonful of cereal, dip it in the milk, and then eat. I get the milk on the cereal w/o all the sogginess! Every bite’s a crunchy taste sensation!
Jeff,
I read your strip and enjoyed it immensely. Cookie monster would be proud. As to your dilemma, I gave it a wee ponder over lunch. Then I came back and read all of the comments to make sure someone hadn’t already suggested this. Over ninety comments, though, I may have missed it.
So, the points to consider:
Cereal seems to require some kind of lubrication, milk being the preferred medium (although the apple juice and almond milk suggestions sound tasty as well).
You need to have plain cereals sweetened a bit for appeal.
Soggy cereal makes your boner cry.
The milk itself could be drunk, but not with bits of cereal floating in it.
Ideally, you would know how much milk it would take to finish X amount of cereal, but for now let’s just focus on making it not disgusting so drinking the last 2.5 ounces isn’t a hassle.
Your powers of Scrawn are fading, and you don’t want to gorge yourself and pack on the pounds, entirely understandable for a working actor.
One possible workaround could be to get a bag/bowl/plate of cereal and a glass of milk, sweeten the milk with honey or agave nectar, or just simple syrup if you like, and eat the cereal like trail mix with sweetened milk to wash it down. Anything unused could be returned to the pantry or fridge free of waste, and you could be as leisurely as you like while eating, which, I’m told by dieticians, means you can fill up with less food.
But I love drinking the milk after I eat all the cereal. D:
I still have bowl and straw combo dishes so I can do just that. : D
If you don’t like soggy cereal you should do like me
I have a bowl with dry cereal and a glass of milk on the side, that way you can eat the cereal with milk, and it won’t get soggy!
i personally love soggy cereal, so ill usually prepare it, then take a shower, and then have it, and i love drinking the milk afterwards
Ugh. Soggy cereal. Being lactose intolerant, I’ve abandoned milk for plain yogurt when it comes to my morning cereal, but if I wait too long (like when I pack my breakfast to eat after the bike ride to work) the pieces of cereal touching just the yogurt get soggy. And it’s a weird soggy, too. But at least it’s not all of the cereal, as with a bowl full of milk.
Sorry man, the after milk is sooooo delicious and I have to drink it. If I don’t, my mouth gets sore, dry and itchy which is weird since I’m not lactose intolerant. Mmmmm… Sweet milk.