April 6th, 2010
JEFBOT.228_Bad Egg
It’s not that I don’t like to cook, it’s just that I’ve never really learned how to cook. It just doesn’t come naturally to me and I haven’t taken the time to practice it much. And when I’m cooking for myself I’m content making cereal, peanut butter on toast or Top Ramen for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Anything else just takes too long.
Unfortunately, since I don’t make the food, I have to clean up the food when I’m at my parents’, which means I’ve been on clearing-the-table and storing-the-leftovers detail for literally decades.
SO MUCH DELICIOUS EARTH SUSTENANCES! I must investigate this matter!
O.o
….
Um… I mean… Uh… I should try those foods… Yeah…
Hey! First post!
the “earth sustenances” were quite good, Rinthia; i’m still full from that brunch – two days later! so much for the Powers of Scrawn. ugh.
yay, first!
AH!!! No!! Not the power of Scrawn! The powers must be salvaged! D:
Chocolate covered
Rice Krispy eggs! WITH SUGAR SPRINKLES!!! I’m hyper.
Now I know why uncle spends so much time down here!
The best gift, just add vodka
Damn second again, but close
In your face Maryz
Third! I’m so with you on the vodka advice. Most of us had Mimosas, but some of us added a little vodka:)
I totally hate the taste of vodka, but orange juice seems to cover it perfectly
(not that I drink or anything 
)
see, your problem is that you probably have never had real vodka. true, real vodka has an extremely neutral flavor…essentially tasteless. Many lesser brands of vodka end up adding some sort of non-neutral taste to differentiate themselves and make their product unique. Vodka literally is meant to be drank like water, or to add alcohol to everyday normal drinks (OJ is good, sprite, ginger ale, koolaid…)
…not that my 18 yr. old boy scout ass would know <..> <.<
Oh dont you try to lecture me on vodka. I drank from the “just to get drunk” grades up to real Russian quality stuff and I still dont like the taste. I prefer sweet alcohol like Tatratea and Jagermeister.
i’m content drinking my ulta-energy drink out of a brandy glass, jefbot. do. not. ask. the only reason i can drink it is because of my bloodlines. thats THE POWER OF SKANDIA!! lol yeah my old people were vikings. looking at my dad you’d believe it. O.O n.j
it’s only a mimosa w champagne if you ad Vodka it’s a screwdriver
i think that’s a good tip for any gift-giving occasion, Eddie: just add vodka. makes every gift better!
and: Rinthia only took first by 3 minutes! so close!
Lets see if I can do it again!
this comic reminds me of… well, me goin’ to a potluck and bringing a bag of Oreos.
i’ll have to try OJ next time. : )
mmMMMmmm… Oreos. i think i’d rather have Oreos than OJ, Cogwell!
at least you brought a carton of juice instead of a bag of oranges..you know as a “orange juice kit.”
true! just goes to show how thoughtful i am at family functions, t_d.
That all sounds like seriously yummy food, and being that I just woke up.. I’m hungry now! And JB should feel good that he’s contributing, because oj is one of the most important elements that round off breakfast quite nicely! (Or happy hour
)
That poor door got pretty mangled, now that we can really see what it looks like when it’s closed. The fam is sure to have some questions for JB with his shiner and all.
I went to bed early last night, and didn’t get around to writing an email, but: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JEFF! *Super mega birthday hugs*
I hope it’s amazing, and full of love and laughter!
i do love me some orange juice at breakfast, Spanky (and happy hour, for that matter!) it’s usually just so dang expensive at restaurants and they serve it to you it in tiny glasses.
and you’re right about that door. the guys better fix that soon, before the building manager sees it…
thanks for the “happy birthday!” looks like i’m gonna have to wait ’til the weekend to party since it’s going to be a busy week at work. i did do some celebrating last saturday with dinner, drinks and a movie, and will be celebrating with la familia this sunday. actually, i did do some cake and drinks with friends last night, too. basically, i’ll keep the bday celebrations going for as long as possible.
You DO realize how hard it makes for the rest of us to know when it is appropriate to congratulate you, right?
HAPPY BIRTHWEEK!
There that should solve that problem.
woo! BIRTHWEEK! although i am gonna be pretty busy all week, Maryz. can we just make it BIRTHMONTH?
No. You are going overboard.
dangit.
Happy birthday, Jeff!
thanks, man!
!
But, Jefbot, cooking is fun!
i know, Shan! i’ve only cooked a real meal like, twice in my life but i had a great time doing it. i really gotta make time to start cooking more often, methinks.
Food is food. And if it’s good food, even better.
…
I can’t (or most certainly WONT) cook for the life of me >___< Kitchen and me are natural enemies. But I can install ligh fixtures and ceiling fans!
*evil laugh of doom*
Still plotting how to get over-friendly baby sister fixed to the roof though.
i do love eating good food more than i do preparing good food, Sonitan! funny that you and kitchens are natural enemies, though. did you have a kitchen mishap as a kid where you were scalded or burned?
and get your baby sister down from that ceiling!
Im afraid to ask what is Xindas surprise.
Anyway, how can you leave when your doors are in THAT state of direpair?
Im glad Jefbot still has a reminder of Cel under his eye. Speaking of whom, have you seen that *Yesman!* movie yet? If so did you noticed that girl and what do you think?
And yeah, Eddie in my face. I overslept and just woke up. Yeah, I know, three o clock in the evening… Ill definitely have to get at least one *FIRST!* this month.
Thats a serious oversleeping dude.
Dude, I guess we would have to show these guys here what to drink
like 70% Sojkovica or 82% Tatran Tea Black 
I dont want to be charged with attempted murder if they went drinking with us Eddie.
Well, yeah, I havet thought about it this way, hell you are right.
heh. actually, her “surprise” was all good, Maryz! it was some sort of egg casserole with spam! YUM.
and yeah, seems jefbot is just choosing to ignore the state of that door.
still haven’t seen the “Yesman!” flick. will try and do that tonight and get back to ya.
3 o’clock in the evening!!? are you nocturnal!!?
Yep, its allmost half past midnight when Im writing this, so you should get an idea just how nocturnal I can become from time to time. Just a slight oddity of mine, I assure you.
I have bigger ones…
I’m lucky. My husband does almost all of the cooking for us. He’s better at it and he likes it more. I do the baking tho. I like to bake and have a major sweet tooth, so I consider myself an expert on all things sugary and baked.
If you are interested in getting out of clean up duty we could probably come up with some no-cook options for taking to family get-togethers. There is always chili cheese dip: Velveeta, canned chili, canned chile peppers microwaved. Fast, easy, an oh-so-classy. Not so good for breakfast tho. I’ve got it! Toast and Nutella!!! You said you do toast, and who doesn’t like chocolate first thing in the morning? I eat it any time of the day or night, myself.
Or another option is to stop by the nearest Mexican Bakery and grab some awesome pastries! You’ve gotta have some good Mexican Bakeries around there, right? That oughtta get you out of clean up duty! Or you can just stick with the orange juice. It IS pretty tacky to drink straight vodka first thing in the morning, so the OJ is really a necessity. 
And Happy Birthday!!!!!!
arigato!
hmmm… if i had to choose between general cooking or baking skills, that would be a hard choice indeed, shanna. i’m leaning toward baking ‘cuz i have a major sweet tooth, too.
love chili cheese dip but my brother-in-law Coolhand has got that covered, unfortunately. i do love toast so i’m gonna have to try your Nutella idea! i normally only have that in my milkshakes. heh. i do have some good bakeries around town, but i don’t know if that’ll get me out of clean-up duty. i bring pie all the time and i still have to clean up. yeah, i’ll probably have to stick to the orange juice.
I somehow missed reading your response earlier. Nutella in a milkshake? That’s BRILLIANT! It’s great on ice cream too. Mmmmmm. Now I want some Nutella. Luckily, whenever my mom comes to visit she brings double packs of the big containers from Costco since they don’t have it at Sam’s Club anymore. I think we have 2 1/2 giant containers left! That should make quite a few milkshakes!!!
Happy BirthdayJeff!!!!! And many more dahhhhhhhlink.
OMG I read this comic and my tummy YELLED at me. I should prolly put something in it.
thanks, Pixie!
and sorry ’bout the yelling. hope you had more than just orange juice in the frig!
Yes happy anniversary of your birth, Jeff! Great comic — truly reflecting your bachelor skills!
thanks, man!
and you’re right: my skills in the kitchen haven’t progressed much since college.
Ha! Thats funny cause I learned to cook for real at college, B.A. in Broadcasting. I do most of the cooking at home, but its nice when my wife does some. Its a lot of fun.
Great comic as always.
@zegron
“Matt”
Mmm…mimosas! Happy b-day.
woo! mimosas! thanks, E.
Happy Birthday, Jeff!
thanks, Mombot! shall i give you my wishlist now or later?
Ha! That’s funny! Hey, orange juice is key to a great mimosa! … someone is bringing the champagne right?!?
P. S. HAPPY BIRTHDAY JEFF!!! Hope you have a wonderful day!
yep! sister Lor brought the champagne, Funnyshaffer.
the day was wonderful, thanks!
First off, Happy Birthday buddy. Glad to see you are good enough to make us all happy on your birthday by putting a JB up.
Now down to business. I TOTALLY relate to JB here lol. I am usually the one that brings the soda to the office banquets!! Putting me with cooking is a BAD idea lol. As always, another great strip. Now I am just sad because Cel is gone but JB still has that dang shiner to remind him of her!
thanks for the “birthday” greetings, man! and glad you could relate to the strip! yeah, whenever i’m invited to a (non-family) potluck i usually bring pizza or chicken wings. maybe a vegetable platter from costco. that’s about as fancy as i get.
and as far as cel goes – don’t worry, she’ll be back! but as you mentioned in your comment last strip, it’s gonna be a while.
Happy Birthday again ‘Bot!
Great strip. I can cook but some of my relatives can’t so I know what it’s like. Those who can’t cook clean up eh?
thanks, DJ! and thanks again for Toothless!!! he’s staring at me in my office as i type this. (as are Pikachu and Sandshrew!)
and yep, i think “Those who can’t cook, clean up” is just the natural order of things. i’ve learned to accept this.
Now I’m hungry…
me too, Sharra. fortunately, my friend just gave me some Easter m&ms!
Ah! Meemosahs? That’s how I celebrated! It wouldn’t be a jefbot Easter without them. Happy Birthday, jefbot!!!
si! meemosas, Annie! muchas gracias.
Happy Birthday Little Bro!
thanks, Xin! make sure you bring me something good this Sunday!
And he really only brought OJ!
ain’t nothin’ wrong with oj!!!
Damn, if thats true i can teach you how to make an omlet.
as long as the omelet’s tasty, has fewer than 3 ingredients and takes under 5 minutes to cook, i’m all for it, Animie fan!
… are you counting the eggs used to make the omlet as an ingredient, or three ingredients to go in it? if your counting the eggs it’d only have cheese and bacon… you can’t fry bacon can you? oi, i hope i get paid for this. but you not dying of starvation and continuing the comic’ll work.
Hahahahahahaha!!! Happy Easter, bot! But more importantly, “HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!” This strip is so funny. Mostly cause it’s true. And just so the readers know, Mombot, Xinda, and Lor sent the orange juice BACK with jefbot. :-O
Anyway, this is a spectacular one-off, bot. You are the web-comic MASTER!
Great, now the orange juice is going to rot in your fridge!
actually, MC has been drinking it with his cilium husk, Slave1!
the only reason they sent it back was that i brought TWO orange juices to Easter brunch, MC! uh, yeah. that’s my story and i’m stickin’ to it.
zomg lmao. I’m hungry and now I want OJ and I haven’t had any in over two years… Jeffbot=cheap yeah?
And lulz to michaels comment. Oh wow this whole thing has really made my day a thousand times better, thanks a ton to the both of you.
yeah, after going through these comments i’m starting to feel hungry for breakfast, Steve! and jefbot’s not cheap, he just knows his place in the order of things. heheh. maybe he’ll try and graduate to “english muffin toaster” or “pancake batter mixer” someday.
glad MC’s comment tickled you, but he lies. LIES I TELL YOU!
Orange juice makes everything better, except the fact it gives me a case of flamethrower heartburn.
HAPPY EASTER. And happy b’day Jeffbro! It seems Jefbot is still sporting the purple from his misunderstanding with the door. =]
orange juice is so good, but yeah, it is pretty acidic, Ahero. best to cut it with champagne or vodka like the above commenters were… wait, when did these comments become a booze thread!? uh, just cut it with some 7up, Ahero!
and yeah, jefbot’s eye isn’t fully healed just yet. maybe he’ll be 100% by next strip…?
thanks for the “happy b’day”!
Happy Birthday, Jeff!
thanks, r61! rock on!
happy birthday jeff! great job on the strip, man! I just started reading about a week ago, but I’ve gone through the archives and read them all.
can’t wait to see what happens with cel and musashi. keep up the great work!
thanks for the birthday wishes and for reading through the archives, Adam! now that you’re up-to-date you’re gonna have to wait a while to see what’s in store for cel and Musashi. i’ll try my best to make it worth the wait!
aah, da door’s still nt fixed proper. heh. bt hw is he gna explain da bruises 2 hs mom?? and i bet sum1 already did dis b4 bt i hv 2 ask, is dat a marijuana leaf on da cf’s shirt?
great strip as always dude…
yeah, it’s gonna take some time for that door to get fixed, faehiir. heh. as for his eye, not sure if that’ll be explained to Mombot on or off-camera just yet. wait ’til you see the next strip, and maybe you’ll feel no explanation’s necessary.
and the Cornfather’s symbol is whatever you want it to be. i call it his “magical leaf” but if you want it to be a pot leaf, that’s fine too.
thanks!
sigh. no turkey here.
any jf fan know where i can get cheap used macbook? been looking for one.
sorry jb. thanksgiving in my head. lolz. those foods u mentioned sounds delicious. have any of u tried chicken cooked in bamboo. or fried pork leg. or fried cicada? they are delicious. hmm how about monitor lizard cooked in soysauce and ginger. heavenly food. the infamous matal aka sago tree critters? thats food for the gods.
i don’t believe i’ve had chicken in bamboo, jf300, but i have had fried pork leg and found it delicious. FRIED CICADA!!? i’m grossed out but also intrigued. what’s it taste like? i’ll try pretty much anything fried. heh. and you’re just trying to tease me about the monitor lizard, right? that’d be like eating DRAGON! rad. and i don’t even want to know about the “tree critters” for fear that i might be missing out on something insanely awesome.
as for where you can get a cheap macbook, do you have craigslist over there? any cheapness you’d find over here would be negated by the shipping charges.
Cooking is fun. What’s not fun is eating your mistakes. *bleh* But waste not, want not.
I’ve noticed that when I come across someone who doesn’t know how to cook I end up feeling motherly and wanting to cook for them. And when I do I make enough for an army. It’s like I’m one step away from jabbing people in the ribs while saying, “You’re not eating enough, Honey~!”
It’s funny and sad. xD
heh. seems whenever i try to go off the beaten path (cereal, scrambled eggs, toast, etc.) i make something not fun, Foxmouse.
and if i’m ever in your town and hungry i’m going to remember your comment here and take advantage of your mothering tendencies! (especially if i start touring with a JEFbot book later in the year!)
Oh ho~! Book tour sounds supa fun, I’ll look forward to that! I’d be happy to cook ya something nice if I had the chance and the supplies were willing; sometimes we don’t always have the yummies for a big meal. My friend Amy loves to bring me fixings just so I could cook it up for her.
“I saw this hunk of awesome meat at the store and thought of you.”
Sounds totally wrong, but works out soooo right. <3
Your feeds are broken (at least in firefox) by a blank line at the beginning of the xml (the first characters must be <?xml, no \n before it).
BTW, awesome comic, been lurking for months.
crap! it’s coming through fine on my Mac but i’ve gotten a couple other people saying the same thing about the broken feed in Firefox, Anon. i know nothing about RSS but it looks like my code hasn’t been altered. maybe if i republish in WordPress it’ll fix it? i’ll give that a try. thanks for letting me know.
also, thanks for the “awesome” and for lurking!
You guys had strawberries!? DD: No faaair, but ick on the OJ. Get some Ocean Spray Cran/Pom juice. <33 Love the Jeffbot still has a bruise. (:
yup. they were good, too! Lor made this flaky pastry/whipped cream thing with ‘em. you should’a come over!
Your mom gave me some strawberries & a Jeffbot shirt!! (; I’m officially happy.
WOO!
you should focus on learning how to make Desserts yea they take just as long but when yoru done you have cake
the closest i get to making dessert is when i bake those ready-made cookie dough things, xero. i make ‘em GOOD, too – i turn on that oven and place/remove those cookies like NOBODY’s business!
We had a party at my school. Kids brought waffle, hash browns, doughnuts. I bring cereal, milk, and cups
perfect, IDTMRB! maybe i can bring those items for Mother’s Day brunch…
he got over cel pretty fast…
I dont think I want to know what the surprise is in Xindas “egg surprise”.
Nice comicstrip, jefbot!